What is “Tolerance” anyway?

In recent years, I hear the word “tolerance” tossed around more and more. But what does it really mean?  Does it mean you just accept anything and anyone, no matter what?

Earlier this year, my husband’s aunt passed away, succumbing to years of alcohol abuse.  She was a sweet, caring woman, and her death was heartbreaking.  I love her and I miss her.  However, nothing and nobody will ever convince me that alcoholism is ok.  Does that make me intolerant? Some may say yes, but I don’t think so.  I don’t believe you have to like and support every little thing a person does in order to love them.  You can love the person without loving their choices. But these days, it seems like anytime a person disagrees with someone, it means they are intolerant.  How did this come to be?  Are we not allowed to take a moral stance on right and wrong anymore?  

What I find ironic is that many people who proclaim their own tolerance really are not.  How can you call yourself tolerant and then tout your hate for all Christians in the same breath?  Intolerance against religion is also intolerance, is it not?  If you hate someone because they believe in God, that’s just as bad as hating someone because they are gay, in my opinion. It’s the pot calling the kettle black. Hate is hate.

My personal opinion on tolerance is this:  Tolerance is akin to respect. You don’t necessarily have to agree with what someone does or what they believe, but you don’t have to hate them for it, either.  You can respect them and love them in spite of the differences. I have friends whose political, moral, and religious views are vastly different from mine, yet somehow we manage to get along and care for each other.  It IS possible!  There is nothing to be gained by publicly declaring someone stupid, hateful, or ignorant because they disagree with you.  Make your case by promoting your own position–not by tearing down someone else.  I’ve always felt that if someone has to argue their point with childish name-calling, slandering, and degradation of other groups, they don’t have much of a case to stand by to begin with.  Persuade me with something more civil and concrete!

I’m totally open for debate on this.  I feel like lately tolerance has just been one of those buzz words passed around and people don’t really know what it means, or pick and choose which groups to be tolerant of.  What do you think it means to be tolerant?  And why does it seem to be ok to tolerate some groups yet hate others?

Discuss!